0508. on illfitting clothes

Most of my clothes now don’t fit. When I bought them they were slightly too small, but I could—with some struggling—get them on. I bought them one size too small because I thought they would get the ball rolling on my losing weight. (As an aside, this works especially well with expensive (for me), very good-looking clothes. I bought an £89 pair of woollen trousers from COS, & for weeks afterwards I stuck to a caloric deficit effortlessly in the attempt to look good in them.)

And then I lost more weight. And then I lost some more. In fact, it is extremely surprising to me just how much fat the body can fit in places where your silhouette / look doesn’t change much, but your waist size can change so radically again and again. Six months into going to the gym and intermittent fasting, I thought “only a couple more months and I will lose that last bit”. I have thought that a few times since, and keep getting proven wrong. In fact, I now think it again, even though I will probably be proven an idiot in a couple of months as my body finds another reserve of fat to draw upon. Perhaps I have another secret set of love-handles!

I have now poked two new belt eyes into my belt, and I still have a good amount of excess fat about my waist. All my trousers, in fact, are now suffering unfairly under a belt, material crumpled together and any semblance of shape and style gone.

This is a very happy kind of inconvenience.

XIX. on generic style

so lately I’ve gone quite generic in my style. I have this absolutely beautiful photograph of a model wearing a crisp white shirt with three-quarter sleeves and a fine wool dark grey jumper with near-matching trousers, & it’s been my background on my phone and my desktop background on my laptop for months, I can’t get enough of how strikingly generic it is, & how beautiful that can be. / a few weeks ago I walked into the Muji shop in town and instantly fell in love. While they only have a few pieces that fit my aesthetic, — as their sizes run quite big and baggy for the palewave, chill look — the pieces I have fallen in love with have been perfect. / this sort of generic style is difficult to do properly but you can look really sharp doing it, & you’ve gotta do something in the office to stand out without looking like a tit!